Archive for the 'Norway' Category

Adventures in Trikk Travel

Sunday, May 25th, 2008

Today we’re going to ride the trikk from end to end.

Cultural Exchange: It’s Short for Jacqueline

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008

Random Clueless Stranger, pausing to admire a navy blue-clad baby: Your daughter is so beautiful! What’s her name?

Monster, trying not to be rude: Ummm… Jack.

RCS: Why did you name your daughter Jack?

Packing Sheet

Monday, May 5th, 2008


In the News…

Wednesday, January 9th, 2008

Microsoft Bids for Norwegian Search Software

In other news, Bean at 36W 5D is fat, healthy, and still oriented properly.  Keep your head down, little boy.

Cross-Dressing Monster

Wednesday, August 29th, 2007

Spotted strolling down Drammensveien:¬† a cross-dressing Monster, wearing a distinctly masculine shirt.¬† Apparently the lawyer, 32, has taken to donning her husband’s clothing in lieu of more traditionally feminine apparel.

Although¬†Monster’s representatives claim that these fashion choices are dictated by an inability to squeeze into her pre-pregnancy wardrobe, evidence suggests that cross-dressing is more than merely a passing fancy for the future¬†mother.¬†¬†Eyewitnesses swear that¬†Monster has been¬†wearing men’s clothing¬†for more than three decades. ¬† She used to sleep¬†wearing t-shirts belonging to her father, says a source who knew the Monster in early childhood.¬† Ducky, too, was a victim of Monster’s odd predilection for male attire.¬† In her grunge college days, Monster used to steal her brother’s¬†jeans (black and chocolate brown Levi’s 501s)¬†and dress shirts, accessorize them with unwashed hair and hole-y boots, and wear them to school.

Troglodyte is thus merely the latest victim in the cycle of male victims of the transvestite thief.¬† To all men in¬†Monster’s vicinity:¬† make sure to keep your shirts on.¬†

Trog Requests Press to Stand Behind Him

Friday, August 17th, 2007

Trog in the News 002

Trog in the News 001

Oslo, Norway. Trog is unhappy with his portrayal in today’s center-spread write-ups in the financial papers, says a source close to the Bean planter.

“He definitely thinks that the press is showing him in a bad light by deliberately using unflattering photographs,” the source reported. “They’re taking him from his worst angle. Trog would prefer it if all photographs were taken from behind, to show off his best feature.”

In an exclusive Shiloh Nouvela interview, Monster concurred.

“The view of Trog’s behind is absolutely breathtaking,” the lawyer claimed. “Broad shoulders, willowy limbs — all the physical gifts that rely on winning the genetic lottery — these are all meaningless. If you have to work at it, like Trog does, it’s much more sublime.”

“Trog’s butt is definitely a thing of beauty, and more photographs should capture that.”

When pushed for comment, Trog turned his back and walked away. “Get thee behind me,” he said.

Cultural Exchange: “Nice”

Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007

Monster:  How was your holiday?

Colleague (with no hint of irony):¬† It was very nice.¬† I was working in my sister’s garden all day.

Monster (pause):  Niiiiiiice.

Celebrity Sighting

Wednesday, April 18th, 2007

Warning warning warning NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

So A and I were standing outside Place of Employment this afternoon when we saw this woman.

Don’t get all excited, she was fully clothed.

“I’m from the Philippines.”

Wednesday, April 18th, 2007

After six months in Oslo, I’ve compiled a list of my top five favorite responses to the “I’m from the Philippines” revelation:

5. “My maid is from the Philippines.”

4. “Are you a refugee?”

3. “Your English is really good.”

2. “Where is that?”

1. “Oh.”

Cultural Exchange: “That’s just not possible.”

Tuesday, April 17th, 2007

Have one-upped incapacity with an even more brilliant shirker response to unpleasant tasks: impossibility, i.e. “that’s just not possible”, offered without excuse or explanation. Sign a document after four thirty if it means returning to the office? That’s just not possible. Deliver binders to a law firm across the street five minutes before lunch break? That’s just not possible. Review a ten-page contract in less than twenty-four hours?  You guessed it, that’s just not possible.

I liked “I have no capacity”, but I love “that’s just not possible”. Whereas both have a similar slacker intent, notice the subtle variance in meaning: I have no capacity suggests an overwhelmed request-ee unable to cope with standard job demands; that‚Äôs just not possible suggests an unreasonable request-or refusing to see the inherent limitations of the situation. No capacity? You’re slow, weak, succumbing to stress. No possibility? It’s just not possible to argue with that.

Come on babies, watch me multislack.