Archive for the 'Suri Cruise' Category

Happy Birthday Suri!

Saturday, April 21st, 2007
TomKat

Dearest Suri,

As we say in the Philippines: belated!

Love the green plaid. Reminds us of our old school uniform. And we really love how all of mommy’s accessories match.

Love,

Us

Tom is Teh Ebil

Thursday, February 1st, 2007

Tom kills Oprah!

Publicity Stunt

Monday, November 20th, 2006

Wedding a ‘Scientology stunt’

THE fairytale Italian wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes has been branded a stunt after the pair admitted they got hitched days before the celebrity bash.

Your parents disgust us Suri. We’ve been used!

Bastard No More

Sunday, November 19th, 2006

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Dear Suri,

Congratulations on your legitimation! Please tell your “mommy” about this article.

Luvlots.

Us

Bonus: Connor and Isabella Kidman Cruise

Suri Cruise in Rome

Friday, November 17th, 2006

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Suri Cruise

TomKat and Suri Cruise on display in Rome.

TomKat Wedding Vows Revealed

Tuesday, November 14th, 2006

For Mrs. Cruise, Perhaps a Cat (NYTimes)

… the bridegroom might hear the Scientology minister proffer this advice, part of what the church refers to as the traditional ceremony: Now, Tom, girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat. All caprice if you will, but still they need them.

And Ms. Holmes could be told: Hear well, sweet Katie, for promise binds. Young men are free and may forget. Remind him then that you may have necessities and follies, too.

Nouvelist ponders: Poor Suri. She will be brainwashed (when she is able) that aliens are coming to get her. Poor, poor Suri. Meanwhile, our Shiloh will be brainwashed that she was born to save the world. Yay!

TomKat Wedding Hits Snag

Friday, November 10th, 2006

Dear Suri,

Apparently mommy and daddy were too busy meditating and stuff to do all the paperwork for the big wedding.

Don’t worry, my precious; we’re sure it’ll all be fine. Your “daddy’s” rich, and your “ma” is good looking. And keep in mind that any defects in the wedding will make it that much easier to annul in a couple of years.

Love,

Us

P.S. The castle looks real purty. You can wear this (look, it’s on sale!) and be pretty in pink!

Suri’s Parents to Stop Living in Sin

Tuesday, October 24th, 2006

Cruise and Holmes Set Wedding Date in Italy (ABC News)

A year and a half after Cruise proposed to Holmes at Paris’ Eiffel Tower, they informed friends and family on Oct. 20 that the wedding would take place on the weekend of Nov. 18 in Italy.

Guests were instructed to be available from Nov. 16 to 19 for wedding events.

Dress-up Suri

Friday, October 20th, 2006

Suri Cruise Halloween Dressup

Poor Suri. Why does Tom have to be such a nutcase? What about the children!

Happy Half-Year!

Wednesday, October 18th, 2006

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Dear Suri,

Congratulations on turning six months old! You’re now grown up enough to eat real food, be potty trained, and maybe even get arrested. When you decide to start seeking attention from strangers, holler in this direction. We’ll come running with big, non-scary smiles.

Love,
Us